I noticed it was spring

Another tough day for Cora. It has been a week or so since we've seen her looking "good." Today she was pretty listless all day. They've weaned her down more on the IV meds as part of the challenge to see how well she can do transitioning over to oral medications. As I've written before, there is evidence that (some aspects of) her heart function has improved, and this is the real way to find out.

It's not easy to watch because I don't want her to have to go through anything more than she's already been through. But I suppose we have to give her an opportunity and see how well she can do.

Tonight Jason read Cora, The Very Hungry Caterpillar, and she perked up and watched the pages intently. If she's anything like Dom and Cosie she will develop an obsession with books. I am praying for the day that I will want to blow my brains out because Cora has asked for the same Spot book to be read to her thirty-seven consecutive times.

In other news, apparently the world is still turning outside the CVICU because I left the house this morning and it was spring. I think I missed winter.

Springtime always makes me think of when Dominic was a baby and how everyday I would put him in his fuzzy red sling and walk him around the neighborhood. At the point that I had him I had probably walked from our house to downtown about fifty times. But that spring I started to notice everything in a different way. I knew there were a ton of green trees in people's yards, but one day it seemed like right in front of me all the trees exploded with magnolias. I could tell you where every magnolia tree resided, how many were on each block, and of what type they were. Life is just like that.

I go along and along doing my thing. Paying the bills, being lighthearted, juggling logistics, and doing my best to balance everything until the next weekend or out-of-town adventure. Then something happens -- a real thing. A birth or a death, a true and honest moment shared with a friend, a long laugh with my family, a look at my kids doing something precious and perfect, our little lovely girl teetering on the edge of so much. Those moments, those experiences happen. And all the magnolias just come out.