Cora's Lessons

As I sit here, I can honestly say I am very happy. Cora is kicking around listening to tunes and watching her mobile, Dominic and Cosette are at home playing with one of our dear friends and one of their favorite people, and Jason is on the way down to Stanford to switch places with me. I am enjoying a very nice, very grateful moment.

This morning we got our first negative result from a blood culture! We'd been waiting for that. This means that the antibiotics are working to treat her line infection. We will wait to see if tomorrow's culture is also negative, and if we can stack a few good days together it will be a very good sign that she is moving in the right direction and most likely has kicked this infection.

Again today Cora had no real interest in drinking from the bottle. The occupational therapist and I worked with her for about a half hour but just couldn't get her to drink anything. Tomorrow we may try turning off her feeds for a few hours to get her good and hungry beforehand -- it's possible she's just not motivated enough to really work hard at eating.

Physical therapy was another story. She really shined today. Grabbing at toys, following objects and people with her eyes. So patient and content with each exercise the therapist tried. Grandma and Grandpa were here for that and I could tell that Cora made them proud. She made me proud too.

Many of you have heard me say this before but Cora really is my easy baby. She is very good at entertaining herself, she hardly ever cries, and she is filled with love. No matter what hardships she has endured, it is so obvious that she loves life. Her wide eyes tell me she thinks it is a very entertaining show. Most mornings when I walk in she is just sitting there, calmly taking it all in.

Tonight I just feel so ridiculously lucky that I get to be her mom. She has forever changed me for the better, helped me to slow down and be on the lookout for joy, to excessively celebrate the good moments, and to find a way to be happy irrespective of any condition or line I may have previously drawn in the sand. I've also become a compulsive hand washer.

One of the things I find most amazing about love is that, the more there is of it, the more there is. It never has a bottom and there is always enough. The more I love Cora, the more I love everyone else around me. Six months ago I thought I was filled to the brim with love, but somehow I have even more today. I was a 32-ouncer of love, and somehow now I'm a Big Gulp.