All the various fortunes

Today was the day! Cora graduated from the cardiac ICU and was moved to the step-down unit. She had another solid couple of days and as of this morning was completely off her drips, which meant she was cleared to move on.

She is in an isolation room because she is still positive for the respiratory virus. The nice part about that is she doesn't have to share a room with anyone. But obviously we are hoping she can clear the virus soon. Now that she's in the step-down unit the primary goal will be to get her into the best possible position to go home. That will involve tweaking medication dosages, settling on the right feeding regimen (right now she is still on continuous feeds through her NJ tube), seeing if we can potentially wean down her oxygen requirement, continuing to tweak her pacemaker settings, and monitoring her heart function, which became somewhat marginal following her surgery.

I have no idea how long we will be there but my guess is, not long.

I woke up feeling like I might be getting sick so I skipped the hospital today and Jay hung with Cora instead. The kids spent some time with their beloved Auntie Marie and Grammie and Papa, as they do every Friday. It almost felt like a normal day, picking them up, then running errands, and hanging in San Rafael which I so rarely do. I even got a car wash. Impressive.

We stopped at an art store to get some supplies and I noticed it was the annual Art Walk that takes place every year in our town. Last year the four of us walked downtown to see one of our friends who was showing an amazing exhibit at a downtown gallery. Her installation piece, called Fortune, consisted of thousands of red and white paper fortune tellers spilling out from the corner of a room. Each person that visited the exhibit was asked to take a fortune, either red or white. It was a tribute to autism and symbolized the random chance by which some children are struck with the disease.

But it could also be carried out to include the random draw by which any child is handed any medical or developmental challenge, big or small. The reality is that most of the fortune tellers represent safety and health. Most of us draw those ones and we barely realize the others exist. How ironic that last year at the show, I drew a "normal" red one and tucked it safely in my purse. Safe from disaster! Or so I thought.

But someone always has to draw the white fortune. That's just the way life is. The exhibit wouldn't be nearly as beautiful if all the tellers told the same happy fortune, and besides there is much to be learned and gained and grateful for, I am seeing every day, from drawing the alternative.

In the art shop tonight, a trio was playing Willie Nelson's beautiful song, Sweet Memories. Maybe it was the memory of my parents blaring that song on road trips in our big brown van, and of my Dad's undying love for Willie and a moment where I missed him. Maybe it was the perfect harmony of those three voices, or maybe it was the moment when I noticed and completely appreciated Dom and Cosie coloring on a sheet of butcher paper on the floor. Maybe it was the text Jay had just sent me with a beautiful picture of our little love, Cora, who has overcome so much and who still faces so many unknowns. Who knows, but I got teary eyed for a minute. Time stopped, and my heart overflowed.