I find myself not wanting to reflect on anything other than this moment. This perfect moment, where my little Cora bear is sleeping soundly in a beautifully decorated bed, surrounded by lions. She looks about as adorable as any baby ever could. I will stay here tonight and I wish for us both a peaceful night.
When I think outside this room,
I immediately think of the other kids, the joyful time we had with all of their cousins today but my sharp sadness in not being with them tonight, my fear at how we will ever explain to them if Cora doesn't come home, my desire to protect them from the sorrow ahead. I think of tomorrow, when we will move to a palliative care room, the last room that Cora will likely ever live in. These things feel horrible and far, far too heavy.
And writing too much on this blog requires thinking and feeling, and I just don't feel like doing either. I just feel like being.
Just for tonight I want to stay in this room where Cora makes me feel light. Her chubby thighs and her soft little hands being the answer to all the world's problems. This is a place I can be. This is a moment I will savor.
may you both sleep peacefully and have beautiful dreams all night, michele!
ReplyDeleteYou and your beautiful family are in our thoughts and I feel so fortunate that you have shared so much of yourself and this beautiful, amazing, precious little being with the world.
ReplyDeleteThis stranger is walking with you on this journey. Your wonderful family is in my thoughts constantly and sweet Cora's big eyes and deep wisdom will always be with me, reminding about the important things in life. Thinking of you all and sending love your way.
ReplyDeleteGod Bless you Michele and the Bousquet family. Thank you for sharing such raw moments with the world, thank you for sharing your journey with Cora, Cosie and Dom, we will be forever changed by Cora's existence.
ReplyDeleteWe have all fallen in love with Cora through your eyes, heart and soul; you are a wonderful mother Michele.
Know that arms of so many people are around you day and night, holding on to you with all our might.
Sending much love and strength your way.
Dearest Michele,
ReplyDeleteI am at a complete loss for what to say. I have been reading your blog since I was made aware of it, and wished with my entire being that I could make everything better. I have to echo the sentiments expressed about by anned.. that we have all fallen in love with Cora through your eyes..and through your words.
The strength that you and your whole family has demonstrated is to be emulated, and I just hope that I exhibit the same level of compassion, perserverance and love when faced with adversity. My heart is heavy with your recent posts, and just want you to know that I am sending you and your whole family my love and prayers.
Just be, Sweet Mama. Prayers for you, Cora Lionheart and your family. May you all be borne up as on angels' wings.
ReplyDeleteLove to you all today. Praying fiercely as you walk through today.
ReplyDeleteHoping you both passed a sweet and peaceful night. Please know that for ever person who posts here, your journey has touched dozens more who have read it but not replied, and of those, they have shared with even more - ALL of those people who have learned of your precious daughter keep you all in their thoughts and prayers every day. I hope only you all can feel the love being sent to you from the hundreds of lives you have touched with your honesty and beauty, and that may all know the grace and peace that Cora has touched us all with through your words and pictures.
ReplyDeleteI recently stumbled upon your blog because I, too, am on the C6 group on Facebook (on my son's behalf) and I've read your entire blog over the past few days. Cora has touched me in such an incredibly deep way. My heart is broken, but I can just imagine that little broken chip of my heart floating above her, her taking a good long look at it (with those incredible eyes), and then swatting around at it with her chubby baby arms. :) My heart is with you, too, and I thank you for inspiring me to love my kids deeper than I ever have before.
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