In so many ways, lucky

My thinking isn't quite right.

Having just put Dominic and Cosette to bed, I was considering what I should do next. I thought about writing a blog post, but then I thought, no, I'll go for a run. That sounds so great! So I went to get ready, only I remembered after a minute that Jay isn't home, and last I checked, it wasn't too cool to leave your house with two children in it. I thought for a minute about the fact that they are likely down for the night. Would it be okay in that instance? But some small shred of logic kicked in and I decided that, leaving children -- sleeping or not -- is an activity that is generally frowned upon. So no run tonight.

Let's just say, I know I have lost some neurons and synapses through this ordeal.

It was a hard day for Cora. Today, even more of her electrolytes were depleted. That meant no real progress on drying out her lungs, because the focus continues to be on electrolyte replacement. Her breathing was very labored today, and she was grumpy. Then she spiked a fever, which is never a good thing, but especially not in a hospital setting and not when you already have so many complicating factors in play. Because of the fever they sent blood cultures to make sure she doesn't have an infection brewing. Yesterday they also sent panels which will show if Cora has a respiratory virus. My gut is that she doesn't have a bug, but of course my gut is not the deciding factor.

We'll see. A sickness right now would be a setback. It will be 48 or 72 hours until we have any definitive results from those tests. So in the meantime we just wait to see which way she is turning.

Today was another day of the juggling master class for me. I left the hospital late last night, came home and slept for a few hours, went to work, went to see Cora, then came home at dinner time because Jay needed to leave for an appointment. Luckily, even though I was only able to spend a couple of hours with Cora, she had a very full social calendar of friends and family who came to entertain her (one of whom is still there as I write this.)

If I haven't mentioned this lately, we are so very grateful for our extraordinary network of friends and family who are always there for us, and who seemingly never reach the bottom of selflessness.

I've been reflecting on how, in so many ways, Cora is the luckiest little girl on earth. If she would have been born a healthy child, she would have been just ours -- mine and Jason's. People would have admired her, and they would have loved her. But they wouldn't have known her any more than we know the true heart and soul of any of our friends' children.

But because she was born with these unique challenges, we have had to share her. Because I've tried to share her soul and her character, people have loved her. And because there have been complexities, I've kept writing about her. Because the logistics of our life have been so challenging, I've had to ask for help. And with every complicated turn in the road, more people come into her life and into her story. And each of those people give love that fuels her, and each person who adores her pushes her forward.

And though I get the extreme privilege of being Cora's mom, I feel like she is a lucky little girl who belongs to a thousand people.