My little love magnet

Feeling very grounded and grateful tonight. As weird as it was for me to start writing this blog and put myself out there, it has been a pretty amazing experience to see what's come back in return.

I have been so moved by the beautiful comments you've left, and by all the calls, texts and emails from our family and friends, and from people I've never met but who somehow learned about Cora. Most people say they hope it provides some comfort to know they are thinking about us and supporting us through this terrible ordeal. I want you to know, it does. It so, so very much does. I sincerely thank you for reading this, and being one of those people who supports us.

I'm writing this blog because I want to honor Cora, my brave, wise, grounded girl, and in some way, all the other brave boys and girls who are fighting odds and living in hospitals or at home. There are so many mothers and fathers who are trying to put one foot in front of the other after life has turned on its head.

Right now Cora is in a room in the CVICU affectionately called "the pod" with six other babies who have some form of heart problem. When all of them are sleeping or sedated, I imagine their little souls flying up above the roof of this building, having play dates together outside the limits of their flawed bodies. I know Cora is still dear friends with a little baby girl she slept next door to for three months at UCSF, even though they never saw one another.

What gets me through all of this fear and sadness is my connections. The deep and unshakable connection I have with Jason. The bond I feel with our amazing families whose support has no limits; both immediate and extended family -- who I feel loving us all across the country. The connections we share with our dear friends who love us, show up for us, do our dishes, and most importantly make us laugh. The reconnections with old friends we haven't spoken to in years, but who we are deeply grateful to find again.

And new friends. I had very moving conversations today with two other mothers who understand our current lifestyle in a very real way, because they are living it. When I talked to them, I didn't feel sad about our situations. Instead I felt compassion and togetherness with them, and shared strength.

A lot of grace and a lot of beauty today, in the midst of advanced heart failure and everything else we live with here.

Cora Shabora showed her best self for a while tonight. My friend was here meeting her for the first time and got to see her huge smiles, and her delight as we made faces and spoke in weird googly voices. She kicked around, just like any other baby. She smiled at her lion.

I am so grateful for Cora and her strong spirit. She is a magnet of love, and because of her, it surrounds us.